Here’s the scene – it’s an IHP event, in a ritzy neighborhood, and it’s the HOA association having a casino night for a “Meet Your Neighbors” kind of shindig. If you pay attention to the IHP dealer page on Facebook, you saw the pic of the exterior – it was nice.
So, I’m dealing poker, and the first two people that get chips are a couple that I can tell has some experience playing poker, just by watching them. and watching them watch the other players, etc. They keep trying to bring players over, convinced they’re laying the trap.
Cue the old lady (who I will only call The Preying Mantis for the rest of the article) and her husband (who I will call Grumpaluffagus) – they join up, along with some stragglers/chum, and I begin to deal. It’s not two hands in before Grump is chastising every move that The Preying Mantis makes. She isn’t holding her cards right, betting right, acting right, etc., according to him. But, sure as a the sun rises, she outlasts him and he storms off in a huff.
That’s when things got fun.
The Preying Mantis began to mow players down like a man with a flamethrower battling an army of scarecrows. If there were four hearts on the board, she had the Ace of hearts. If the board was a four card straight, she held the fifth card. Almost every time. She accumulated chips like Donald Trump accumulates self tanning lotion.
After it was down to her and the couple of professionals, she started spanking them, too. Grumpaluffagus showed up, and immediately started telling her she was doing something wrong. The entire table turned on him instantly, all at once. It was great. He looked shocked, and I said, “Hey, she’s been doing great without your help! Leave her alone!” That’s when he saw her chips. He smiled and sheepishly walked off, giving her a thumbs up. LOL
The night ended with The Preying Mantis turning her 5000 chips into 80,000. I wish everyone could have seen the smile on her face.
You go get em, ma’am. Get thee to Vegas!!
“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.”